kitten toes

When I first saw you,

I was (so) amazing; confident 

and lovely.(Despite 

life’s bitter ironies).

Then we started talking, – 

and (baby) – I was charming.

I swept you off your feet.

(You let me bask in that façade).

Then, somewhere between Romance 

and Reality-my silhouette 

(was) forged in 

your eye…

(While,) my “I”-

finds you outstanding…

(There is no question, why).

The best things in this world

have been redefined, 

in your image.
  

 
                                         fin

“FRAGILE!”

 How would you act, 

if you knew that

you held, 

my heart 

in your (all 

too careless)

hands? 

 

                             (Steady Baby, )–I

                                   would guard it

                                    with

                                           my

                                                 own…


                                   FIN

To You, From Love…

Hey!…I’m waiting for B_____, (and reading your texts). I’m waiting, impatiently for the moment I see you. I just wanna hold you and kiss you, until all the anxiety, the imagined negativity, (the monstrous, looming, typical humanity), leaves me and  my body becomes yours again…(unconditionally). Until then…xo. Jennifer.

image

[A text message sent, to “the one”, some weeks ago.]

.

 

Stay

  

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if your dad left you.

I’m sorry if your dad hit you.

I’m sorry if your dad passed away.

I’m sorry if your mom left you.

I’m sorry if your mom hit you, or got hit by your dad.

I’m sorry if your mom passed away.

I’m sorry if you get bullied.

I’m sorry if you cut your wrists.

I’m sorry if you can never sleep at night.

I’m sorry if you throw up after you eat, because you don’t want to gain weight.

I’m sorry if you cry in your room for hours.

I’m sorry if you get called a faggot for being gay.

I’m sorry if you get called a tranny or a girl, if you identify as a male.

I’m sorry if you get called a boy, if you identify as a female.

I’m sorry if you feel like both genders, and get told it doesn’t exist.

I’m sorry if you identify as a gender, and get told you are confused.

I’m sorry if your boyfriend or girlfriend hits you.

I’m sorry if you feel like your not good enough.

I’m sorry if someone broke your heart.

I’m sorry if you got cheated on.

I’m sorry if your in foster care.

I’m sorry if your homeless.

I’m sorry if you would rather be homeless, because being at home is torture.

  

I’m sorry if you rake your nails down your arms.
I’m sorry if you feel like nobody cares.

I’m sorry if you feel invisible.

I’m sorry if you feel you won’t be as “pretty”, or “handsome”, as someone else. But guess what? You are beautiful.

I’m sorry if you don’t want to be saved.

I’m sorry if you do want to be saved, but nobody is around to help you.

I’m sorry if you lost a loved one.

I’m sorry if your brother or sister has a mental illness.

I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you.

I’m sorry if you’ve been sexually harassed.

I’m sorry I’ve not always been there when you needed me.

I’m sorry if you have to sell drugs or do them, because you hate reality.

I’m sorry for all the pain you kept inside for so long.

I’m sorry if your heart is broken.

I’m sorry if you feel this way.

  

But I know that with everything that is going wrong, one day it will go right.
I care about you. I want to give my all to show you how worth it you are.

I want you to live. I want you to fight this, I need you here.

All your pain is something that probably followed you everywhere.

I know things are hard, and nobody understands what you’re going through.

You fake a smile, but I can see it.

You think you’re unloved, but I love you so much. I promise you’re loved.

If you think it’s time for you to go, it’s honestly not, this isn’t worth it.

I know you want to die, nobody would miss you right? Those thoughts are a lie, those demons in your head are lying to you. All those people telling you to kill yourself arn’t there when you need a hug, they arn’t there when you’re punching walls.

They assume you won’t do anything, they arn’t there when you’re breaking down and crying, but I promise you’ll feel better soon. Don’t do this.

Don’t leave me.

I need you.

You’re worth it. I know enough.

I love you.

I’m always just a message or call away.

Stay strong.

  

This poem was written by Jaemi Manning, and Dillon Chase.

          __________________________    

A WORD ABOUT FLESH…

Rapture holds
passion, not
infidelity.
(You have become
my forsaken
malady).

Ravish me.

The heat (is nearly
crippling).
I’m kissing,
your neck, (when)
my tongue finds the
sharp definition of your
Adam’s apple…Tastes-
so sweet, (and
so wonderful),
beneath the stubble
on (your neck),
your sculpted jaw,
and the other
delectable parts of you.
The salt of
sweat, leaves a hint,
in my mouth. Testosterone,
magnetic pheromones,
(fill up my sinuses,
head, and my throat).
And this divinity, almost
makes me forget, about
the pleasure I feel, every time
you move your hips.

Ravish me,
baby.

And slippery high moments,
that pale me-(just).
Pierce me.
Impale me, again and again.
It’s the flesh in my body, and
the ice in my soul.

fin